If Someone Dies What Should I Say
When death strikes a family, parents as well as other relatives and friends are often at a loss as to what to say or do to help children cope with what has happened. Yet, children need adults to help them deal with death. Consider some commonly asked questions about helping children understand death.
How do you explain death to children? It is important to explain matters in simple terms. Keep it truthful too. Do not hesitate to use the real words, such as "dead" and "death." For example, you might sit down with the child, take him in your arms, and say: "A very, very sad thing has happened. Daddy got very sick with a disease that not many people get [or whatever you know to be true], and he died. It isn't anybody's fault that he died. We'll miss him very much because we loved him, and he loved us." However, it may be helpful to explain that the child or his surviving parent is not likely to die simply because that one gets sick at times.
Encourage their questions. 'What's dead?' they may ask. You might answer this way: "'Dead' means that the body stopped working and can't do any of the things it used to—it can't talk, see, or hear, and it can't feel anything." A parent who believes the Bible's promise of a resurrection can use this opportunity to explain that Jehovah God remembers the departed one and can bring him back to life in the future earthly Paradise. (Luke 23:43; John 5:28, 29)—See the section "A Sure Hope for the Dead."
Is there anything you should not say? It is not helpful to say that the deceased has gone on a long journey. Fear of abandonment is a major concern for a child, especially when a parent has died. To be told that the deceased has gone on a trip may only reinforce the child's feeling of abandonment and he may reason: 'Grandma left, and she didn't even say good-bye!' Be careful, too, with young children, about saying that the departed one has gone to sleep. Children tend to be very literal. If a child equates sleep with death, a fear of going to bed at night can result.
Should children attend the funeral services? Parents should take into account the children's feelings. If they do not want to go, do not force them or in any way make them feel guilty for not going. If they want to go, give them a detailed description of what will take place, including whether there will be a casket and whether it will be open or closed. Explain, too, that they may see a lot of people crying because they are sad. Again, let them ask questions. And reassure them that they can leave if they need to.
How do children react to death? Children often feel responsible for the death of a loved one. Because a child may at one time or another have felt angry at the person who died, the child may come to believe that angry thoughts or words caused the death. You might need to offer some comfort: 'Your thoughts and words are not what make people sick, and they don't make people die.' A young child may need such reassurances repeatedly.
Should you hide your grief from children? Crying in front of children is both normal and healthy. Besides, it is almost impossible to hide your feelings from children completely; they tend to be very discerning and can often sense that something is wrong. Being honest about your grief lets them know that it is normal to grieve and at times to show your feelings.
If Someone Dies What Should I Say
Source: https://www.jw.org/en/library/books/when-someone-dies/what-to-say-how-to-help/